​When Anxiety Becomes a Constant Companion: Finding Hope & Change

Anxiety isn’t just a passing cloud. For many children, teens, and adults, it becomes a daily weight — shaping choice, narrowing opportunities, and whispering fears that never seem to quiet. In my work as a therapist, author, and speaker, I’ve seen just how powerful anxiety can be. But I’ve also seen something else: it can change. Families, children, and adults can learn new ways of relating to fear that lead to freedom, growth, and connection.

Why Anxiety Feels So Overwhelming

Anxiety has a job: to protect us from danger. But when it goes unchecked, it begins to interfere instead of protecting. Here’s how:

Avoidance reinforces fear. Skipping out on what scares us may bring temporary relief, but it teaches the brain that fear was right.

Reassurance backfires. Constantly telling a child “you’ll be okay” may actually strengthen the anxiety by making them depend on external comfort.

Anxiety spreads. Kids take cues from adults. If we meet their fear with panic, we unintentionally confirm that it’s a big deal.

Once we recognize these patterns, we can begin to shift them. Below are some suggestions on how to start. 

Redefine the relationship with fear.
Instead of battling anxiety, we can learn to acknowledge it, get curious, and gradually face what feels unsafe.

Offer support, not rescue.
Children don’t need us to swoop in every time. They need us to coach, guide, and build their confidence step by step.

Build resilience through connection.
Progress isn’t only about reducing symptoms. It’s about creating a life of meaning, relationships, and purpose — even with anxiety present.

Parenting Anxious Children: Small Shifts, Big Difference

Parents often ask me what they can do when anxiety seems to take over their child’s life. These strategies help:

Cut down on reassurance. Replace “you’ll be fine” with “let’s see what happens together.”

Allow safe struggle. Growth requires discomfort. Let them experience challenge without always stepping in.

Model calm curiosity. Your own regulation sends a powerful message: anxiety is manageable.

Try exposure ladders. Break big fears into smaller, more manageable steps — and celebrate each win.

Taking the First Step

Progress rarely moves in a straight line. There will be setbacks and doubts. But each time you (or your child) lean into discomfort instead of away from it, you expand the boundaries of life. If you’re ready to take that step, here are a few ways I can help:

Therapy: I see clients in Dover, NH, and provide teletherapy in New Hampshire & Maine.

Parent Coaching: Sessions designed to give you practical tools for supporting your child.

Speaking & Training: Workshops and presentations for schools, organizations, and parent groups.

You don’t have to do everything all at once. Start with one conversation, one small act of courage, or one step toward support. Over time, the path forward becomes clearer — and lighter.